I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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