the day after is always just damage control
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
