I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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