your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I want to make a zoo with you.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Randomize
