none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
