at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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