He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize