It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Randomize
