Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize