Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
