I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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