Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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