in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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