I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
