Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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