YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize