And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
