I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
