so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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