At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
BRING THE BAGELS
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize