Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
