Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Vodka?
Forever.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
