We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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