Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Your cock deserves a montage
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
