I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
sarcasm needs its own font
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
