He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
