Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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