Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
