I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
