P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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