lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
