i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize