somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Buhtt sex?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
