I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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