you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
