ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
