I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
