i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
