Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
