I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
pray to the hookup gods
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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