She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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