There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
