I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
