you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize