YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Farmville is her only friend.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
