that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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