i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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