hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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