So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
