Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
