problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
