You can't motorboat a personality
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
