she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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