That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
