Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Someone shattered a urinal.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
