wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
