I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
