youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
