Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize