ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
