I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
