i think my tv is drunk
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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