Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
