i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
