i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize