bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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