I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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