This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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