he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
