You're earring is so big in my mouth
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
