My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
