The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
