Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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