yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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