does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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