Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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