I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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