I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
