In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
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